from now on my penis is your penis
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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