Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
