True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
