ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
