I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
