HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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