Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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