I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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