just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
