i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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