I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
