Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He shit in the fireplace
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
