He kissed a someone with a penis
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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