Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
