you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
