So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
