and you said cock pushups were impossible
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There r osticjed everywhere
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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