i wish peter jackson would direct porn
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
