respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
