That reminds me...we need to get swords
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
