i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
