I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
