YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
