The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
