Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
