Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
