Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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