remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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