I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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