Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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