All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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