I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
