WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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