Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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