And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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