Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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