she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
