my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
