And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
