I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
