I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
