I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
