if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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