How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
