Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
