I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
