Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
