my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
