the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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