we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
