Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
